Who is Kylie Kerr? The Story Behind The Big Girl Pants Movement

“Change doesn’t begin when life falls apart. It begins when you put on your big girl pants and get shit done.” Kylie Kerr

Hi, I’m Kylie Kerr. Midlife and awesome (most days), wife, mum of two, newly rekindled lover of real books and unapologetic believer that Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

I’m also an engineer turned confidence coach and the founder of The Big Girl Pants Movement. None of that was the plan.

I started my career by accident. In Year 12 I filled out a BHP traineeship form without much thought and put mechanical engineering dead last. The next thing I’m a fitter and turner trainee in Wollongong, one of three women among about 100 apprentices and trainees. There wasn’t even a women’s toilet in the workshop. I loved every minute of it.

Except the heights.

I have a proper, irrational fear of heights, so naturally the blokes thought it was hilarious to send me to the top of the blast furnace. Every time, I climbed. Terrified (and swearing, quietly).

I didn’t know it then, but that was my first lesson in confidence. I never felt ready on the way up. I did it scared, and the confidence showed up afterwards.

I still push the limits of my fear now and then. The last time was on a retreat in Bali in 2025. Lunch was at a restaurant with the big swings, the ones where you put on a pretty dress and get pushed out over the side of the mountain. I was shitting myself (in a very glamorous pink dress, mind you). Sitting there, with that primal fear running through my whole body, I had the same thought I’d had at the top of that blast furnace. If I have the courage and the willingness to take action, I can do anything I want. The fear never goes away. I just stopped letting it make the decisions.

That became 25 years in local government, finishing as Roads Manager. From the outside it looked solid and successful. Inside, it got complicated. I once accepted a Director role, then sat on the edge of my bed a week later in tears, knowing it wasn’t right. I went back and said no. It was the first time I chose myself over what I thought I should do.

The bigger break came later, in a workplace that slowly wore me down. I stayed far too long, telling myself I could handle it, until I found myself in my doctor’s office, crying. That’s when I knew no job is worth losing yourself.

So, I walked away. No grand plan. No guaranteed income.

The hardest part wasn’t the money. It was working out who I was without the title. When you’ve spent years being the capable one, you don’t just lose a job. You lose a chunk of your identity.

Here’s what I learned in the rebuilding. We all wait for confidence. We think we need it before we start the business, have the conversation, open the bank account or say no. It’s the wrong way round.

Confidence is the outcome, not the starting point. That’s why I created the Big Girl Pants Confidence Model:

📜The Stories. The thoughts running the show.

😐The Feeling. What those thoughts stir up.

👖The Hurdle in Tight Jeans. The uncomfortable action or decision.

📈Landed It. You did the thing.

😀Loosen the Top Button. Evidence you can do hard things.

✅They Fit Now. Confidence, earned.

It’s not magic and it’s not overnight. Nobody is coming to do the hurdle for you. But you don’t have to jump it alone, because women support women.

Today I run Kylie Kerr Coaching, and I offer group coaching and VIP Private coaching. The business is growing, and I won’t pretend the money doesn’t help (it does). But that’s not why I do it.

I do it because I’m passionate about women realising how awesome they are, and then taking action on what they want. I’ve sat in that dining table moment, where everyone’s talking about plans and futures and none of it includes you, and I know how quietly that hits. I’ve also watched what happens when a woman puts her own name back in the conversation. Nothing beats it.

I’ve always been the person who sees potential in others long before they see it in themselves. Coaching just gave that a name.

The Big Girl Pants Movement is for women in midlife who’ve spent years looking after everyone else and are asking, “What about me?” You don’t need a perfect plan. You don’t need to blow up your life. You just need to be willing to take the next step, even when your stomach is in knots.

Because you already have everything you need. The strength, the smarts, the ability to do hard things. You just need to be willing to shake in your boots while you do it.

Welcome to my world. You’re in the right place.